Wednesday, July 28, 2010
The Story of the Bastard Bee
So if this is going to work I REALLY have to set it up right. But to be honest, most might not find it that funny cause it's one of those you had to be there things. But for the peeps involved, this is probably one of the most memorable and funny moments of all time. Here's the back-story. Ever since I was young I have been deathly terrified of bees, actually anything that flies and can sting you (bees, wasp, hornets, etc). I found this out when I was about 7 years old and got stung by a honey bee on the knee and it swelled up to the size of a melon. So now every time I see a bee I run away like a woman. So here is how the story goes!!!
It was another day just like any other on a mild but crisp spring afternoon. I was going about my normal work day when I was contacted by a fellow co-worker with plans to have an extravagant lunch at the classy, but fair priced Houlihans. After contemplating my options of what and where to eat I decided to embark on this magical journey and make every effort to make this the best lunch ever. So it was around 11:15 when myself, and my friends Bennett (Rockstar) and Kathryn (we miss you) decided to head on out to eat. The lunch was oh so delightful but I honestly can't remember anything we had to eat, cause that's not the point of this story. We finished our lunch and headed out to the car to go back to work. If you know the UCF area, it's a cluster F*** of dumb college students who pop their collars and have man crushes of Ryan Secrest. There is also a median running down the middle of the road the entire length of University Blvd so you have to go out of your way and attempt death defying u-turns. As we pull out of the parking lot and head south towards Alafaya Blvd we begin to roll down the windows oh so slightly in order to keep the A/C in, but open enough to ash our cigarettes (I'm actually trying to quit now and Bennett the Rockstar gave me one today, thanks bud). Now keep in mind the windows are literally only open about 1 inch. This is where the story takes the turn.
We are at the stop light getting ready to make our U-turn, I'm jamming out to country music just to piss off Kathryn and Bennett, just being my normal self. As I begin to ash my cigarette the light turns green and it's go time. Right as I'm about to bust a u-turn this Bastard of a Bee hunts me down in my car, being directed towards me by the scent of my deathly fear of him. I lock my eyes on him and focus 100% of my attention on this beastly creature. And as sure as Adam Lambert is gay, this bastard of a bee fly's directly into the 1inch crack in the window in order to inflict pain and terror upon me. But I'm better and smarter than him. While I'm driving a moving car and in a u-turn motion I scream like a little girl and within 1 second, I'm out of my seat belt and diving into Rockstar Bennett's lap who is sitting in the passenger seat. When I say I jumped in his lap it is no joke, I literally had 80% of my awesomeness all over him. While this is all happening I hear what seems to be a pack of hyena's, but it turned out to be Kathryn dying laughing in the back seat and turning so red she easily could of spontaneously combusted. Unfortunately, this Bastard Bee was killed in the process but he left us with something that will last forever...AN AWESOME STORY THAT WE'LL ONLY EVER UNDERSTAND!!
Keep on Rocking Bennett
We miss ya Kathy (I mean Kathryn)